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Headlines section
The Yesterday Paper

EDITORS NOTE:
Yes! It’s the 3rd issue of the Yesterday Paper! I’m sure many are bueh song so my apologies on this matter! Enjoy!

HEADLINES-
PM Jee in talks on ‘Anti Eunuch Movement’ a success
Pm Jee is very happy on the ongoing anti eunuch movement that he has given a 110% support on this matter. He says that a special group against guanghui is a ‘good’ example of a group of people determined to rid the world of Eunuchs. He has said that ha will help the group by supplying ‘Moral support’ in the matter. Mason Nat Niak Iew, a PHD graduate in Emology from the School of Emokias, leads the anti-eunuch movement. The movement was started in early this year and much progress has been made in this campaign.


F1 night race in Singapore a total flop, says PM Yen
The F1 race, or Formula One Race, was a total flop and many were unhappy, cursing and swearing as ERP gantries, supposed to be closed by 8pm, was still open for operation until the race ended. 61 laps of SGD$1 was collected, with five to six gantries in the street course, amounting to around SGD$305 per driver. So each team had to pay around SGD$610 as they are two cars per team in the race. Drivers like Kimono Raikonnek told Yesterday Paper: “This is outrageous!!! Even though we are rich but we cannot waste so much money in one race so I crashed the car at the last few laps as I was busy pushing in the @#$%^&* Cashcard inside!” PM Yen told the Yesterday Paper that the thing was to ‘help traffic flow’ in the racecourse.


China milk products found with traces of Melamine and Bean sprout juice
China’s milk products have just taken another stumbling block. The foodstuff that was infected, e.g. Milk powder has just been added a new ‘liao’ in it. It is none other than Bean spout juice, high in fat and sugar to cause diabetes and high blood pressure in older people and stomach ulcers in younger consumers. The affected products were sent for further investigation and the cause is unknown but many people believe that it is related to the Vitasoy problem in Issue#2 of The Yesterday Paper. Anyone with information can call the anti-eunuch hotline at 62912629.






Home section

Are Food prices too high?
Many say: Wah Piang eh! So damn expensive siah! Is this a time when the yummy foods are set aside and more and more people eat gruel? Should we stock up on rice?
The answer is simple: Go with the flow dude! Many SoutheastAsian countries like Singapore can stand the tide and test of time. But can countries like Thailand survive?
We interview Mr See Beh Tired, a vegetable seller from Tiong Bahru.

Yesterday Paper: So Mr See Beh Tired, what do you think of the current global crisis at hand?

See Beh Tired: Errrrrr… Yeah yeah I damn tired so you got thing to talk, talk. Got fart to fart, fart lah! Talk so ‘chim’ for what?

YP: OK… I mean what do you think about the business here?

SBT: Oh you mean the food crisis ar? Say earlier ah! @#$%^!

YP: That is what I…

SBT: Shut up lar! You want me to talk right? I tell you! Business is lousy siah. The ‘huo’ also so ‘lau kui’, who will buy? You tell me?

YP: So this crisis has affected both the wet market and the dry one too. Thank you Mr See Beh Tired, this is the Yesterday Paper, signing off.


Lawyer fined USD$10000 for saying ‘shit’ in court
A lawyer from the law firm, Give Us Money Co., or GUM for short, has one of its lawyers saying ‘shit’ in High court. Mr S.Koneksai was fined USD10000 when he said ‘shit’ in front of a judge. This is liable to % years jail and a max fine of USD50000 if convicted. The lawyer is out on aUSD4000 bail and the hearing is on Thursday.















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YOYO

Hey guys Adam here I know no-one sees this blog except for GH and one other guy who changed the blogskin so I am using it to spam YOYO stuff! Cool eh?
Watch the Vid here
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ux_J7FYvK0E&feature=player_embedded